LOOKING UP A SCOTSMAN'S KILT

Hey, it was an accident.  But one I will never forget!  The girls and I were shopping along the Royal Mile in Edinburgh; incredible ancient buildings bursting with clan tartans, plaid material, sporrans, clan crests and paraphernalia, basically anything Scottish you could buy with the possible exception of their Crown Jewels.  In a corner of one store we meandered over to a retail display by a local Scotsman who'd become locally famous for walking around the Royal Mile dressed in full 'Braveheart' regalia.  He had it all going on, including the Highland attire, the blue face paint, long mussed hair and plaited braids.  One poster of his caught our attention right away; a side view of Mr. Braveheart hiking up his kilt to reveal an impressive tat on his right butt cheek.

We strolled up close for a better inspection.  "Nice ass," my eldest quipped rather loudly.  And, of course from behind we heard a chuckle and, "Why, thank 'ye, lassies."  We whirled around to find Mr. Braveheart all decked out with no one to  disembowel.  ****AWKWARD.**** The man was smiling from cheek to cheek.

Immediately our William Wallace impersonator began flirting up a storm with the girls, especially the one who'd flattered him by acknowledging his superior derriere to anyone in the store who wasn't deaf.  He handed us all kinds of free stuff; postcards, bookmarks, even a poster.  About this time I needed to excuse myself to use the loo downstairs. Funny how I paid no attention to the stairwell composition on the way down, but on the trip back I looked up and was dumbfounded to see open metal grating above me and one naked Scotsman right in my line of sight.  Somehow 'Nice ass' didn't seem adequate at that moment.  And I'm guessing he knew I'd accidentally sneaked a peek because that cheek to cheek smile was back on his . . . well, I'll leave the cheekiness to your imagination.

My eldest is engaged to a Scotsman so she can peek under a kilt whenever she wants.  Me?  Unless I'm carrying something like nitroglycerin in my purse, that once will do me just fine, thank you very much!